I am a monk. I am a tree. I am the ocean washing up against the shore on an August afternoon. I am a seashell on that shore, snug and cozy in the sand. I am a grain of that sand. I am a molecule in that grain of sand. I am a building block of life, of existence, of matter. I matter.
I open my eyes and we are still on slide seven. I still want to stand up on the conference table and rip the projector right out of the ceiling. Not that it would do me any good. We all have printed copies of the presentation.
What were some of the other ones the teacher told us to try before our next session?
Peace? Peace and nature, something, something. Forest? Redwood? Skip that one.
Be. Yes, be. Be in the meeting. Be in the moment. Be in the room. Be in the chair. Be in my shirt. Be in my shoes. Be with all my being and be calm.
After coughing conspicuously a couple times I excuse myself to go to the restroom, and while I’m out I leave for the day. The only mantra I need in my life costs nothing, unlike the $199 I wasted on those introductory meditation classes run by my agency’s fitness center that my supervisor encouraged me at my mid-year performance review to sign up for. My mantra is foolproof, and it’s only two words long: sick leave.
Editor’s note: The author promised us that he was going to finish the rest of this story, but while we were meeting with him last week he excused himself to use the restroom and has not yet returned.
FROM ONE SHOW ON ALL NETWORKS
Pundits in the press a mess.
Pundits in the press a mess.
Left leaning press right leaning leaning leftright centrist press. Pundits
loud pundits in the centrist leftist rightist press a mess pundits in the press.
If they were not pundits what would they.
If they were not pundits in the press a mess what would they. He had
heard of a fact and he asked about it it was a nice try but a lie.
If a nice try but a lie as a lie will not die if the pundit in the
press a mess does a mess for success the pundit in the press a mess and the
nice try but a lie as a lie and decry and decry a mess in the
press a mess the pundit in the press the pundit in the press and a mess.
They might be talking heads they might be talking heads talking heads they might be.
Watch Fox News CNN CNN Fox News Fox News watch Fox News Fox News CNN CNN CNN CNN CNN watch CNN Fox News Fox News watch CNN. Watch Fox News CNN.
I think that I shall never see
A poem messy as Democracy.
A Democracy whose voters know best,
Where only some votes are repressed;
A Democracy under God all day,
Unless to the wrong one you pray;
A Democracy that may go to war
And only after ask what for;
Forged out of immigration whence,
At least until we build that fence.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But it takes a whole bunch of fools to make Democracy.
To serve the public
That’s the dream
Of each new
To hell with that
They say once they
Learn that they
Can’t be fired
The celestial year began anew and heaven had no budget. “We really need to cut back on oceans,” said Senior Angel Michael. “Oceans are the origin of life,” his counterpart in the heavenly body of law shot back. Senior Angel James had gotten into heaven by doing good deeds and looking after the poor, and he would be damned if he was going to let the noninterventionists shrink the source of life just because they could afford Evian.
“No reduction in oceans, no Earth 2015.” That was the hardline stance they were taking, and to prove their point they called in a major drought over equatorial Africa.
“Jesus Christ, you’ll kill hundreds of thousands of humans.”
“And once they get here and learn that you let them die rather than beach a few whales they’ll become our new constituents.”
“You can’t just kill people just so they’ll get into heaven in time for the next election cycle.”
“We’re not killing them. The drought is. And you’re responsible for that by being irresponsible over the amount of ocean in the planet.”
“That’s Heaven Majority Leader Jesus Christ to you if you please.” Continue reading
Winston Churchill is credited with saying Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the other ones. That was seventy years ago. You would think, or hope, or at least wish longingly while watching MSNBC, that in the intervening decades we might have come up with something better.
And we have. Such groundbreaking forms of government as I am about to introduce to you may never see the light of a nation-state, but the world will be all the darker for it. Thus it is with innovation.
All I ask is that you study the following conceptual systems of organization and consider whether they are really truly worse than the worst form of government. Then we can vote on it.
In a Dogocracy, officials are elected by people but must be dogs. Candidacy is open to all canines, and diversity of breed and temperament is welcome. Decisions are reached by throwing two tennis balls in opposite directions and counting up how many representatives chase after each. Districting is determined by marking one’s territory. It is anticipated that officials may bark loudly at nothing in particular and pursue policy objectives that turn out to be their own tails. Term length is measured in either people years or dog years, depending on whether the representative has been a good boy. Continue reading
Like a Penn Quarter condo
Down a tax bracket
Women put on their makeup
To collect the mail
Moved out to H St
Not far if you ride your bike
Except it so is
Capitol Hill house
Close if you work for Congress
Remote from all else
What of Arlington?
There’s so much more space out there
Goodbye DC friends