Food Truck Hurts China’s Feelings

Despite not using MSG, the Taiwan truck is still causing headaches.

Despite not using MSG, the Taiwan truck is still causing headaches.

21 AND VIRGINIA — A splittist food truck flying the Taiwan flag outside the State Department has hurt the feelings of the Chinese people and spoiled their appetites.

While meeting with Secretary Clinton for a frank and cordial discussion of their shared interests regarding the global food security initiative, Chinese Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi stepped outside to grab a quick bite. Foggy Bottom being the culinary wasteland that it is, Foreign Minister Yang followed the lead of his diplomatic counterparts and stood in line for one of the food trucks lining Virginia Avenue.

The Foreign Minister decided to go with the Chinese barbeque truck Butchers of Beijing. As he got closer he was shocked and outraged to find the Taiwanese truck Taipei Personality parked right behind it. Worse still, the truck’s twitter feed announced that it would shortly be relocating to Independence Avenue.

At a routine press conference concluding the Foreign Minister’s visit, Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson Ma Paokuai demanded an apology. “Listen,” he said, “billions of dollars in annual arms sales to Taiwan Province we can overlook. But is it so much to ask to make them park their truck at Farragut Square?”

Spokesperson Ma added, “You couldn’t at least have people stand in one line for both trucks? Or better yet, could you combine the trucks and call it One Cuisine Two Kitchens?”

State Department Spokesperson Melody Jenkins responded that the United States continues to abide by the One Chinese Food Principle. She said, “The United States acknowledges that all customers on both sides of 21st Street agree that Chinese food all tastes the same and that includes Taiwanese food.”

As part of a tacit compromise going forward, U.S. diplomats will still be allowed to visit the Taiwan truck so long as they take off their badges while they stand in line. They will still be eligible for fortune cookies.

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