BOB’S DESK — A recent study by the American Society for Streamlining found that eating lunch at your desk can make you up to 89% more productive.
The results fly in the face of the antiquated conventional wisdom that taking periodic breaks was a good way to keep your brain from melting onto your computer keyboard.
Marlene Potash, the principal author of the study, believes that her findings could mean significant cost savings for the government. She wrote, “Just think of the electricity saved from all those elevator rides down to the first floor not taken and all the air conditioning not wasted from opening the door to outside.”
To measure productivity, Potash randomly assigned artificially tight project deadlines to government employees to get them to work through lunch, and then counted the number of emails they sent between 12:15 and 1 p.m.
“It really works!” said Bob Wasabipea, who used to eat out. “Before, I could only forward 100 Dilbert comics a day. Today I managed 189! Without spilling on my tie!”