Essay: Get Europe Fixed

Because I am a straight shooter (with the help of the laser site on my automatic rifle), I am going to tell you my point up front. The banks have got Europe by the balls.

Now forget that banker talk of bulls and bears. What those NATO freeloaders across the ocean are facing is a situation of bulls and steers, if you catch my drift. Unless we fix the problem right now, and I have a plan for that, which I will get to, the problem just might fix them.

Understanding what exactly is going on in Europe is hard enough for the liberal elites who eat Brie and drive Audis. As for those of us who order apple pie out the driver’s side window of our Chevy Silverados and wash it down with a Bud Lite Lime on the ride home, to us the whole mess is about as confusing and frustrating as listening to the British try to talk English. Fortunately, Fox News ran a special on the crisis yesterday, so I am feeling pretty sufficiently informed not just to explain the problem to you but to solve it for you too, and without raising taxes at that.

The problem with Europe is big government. Things were bad enough when that continent consisted of a bunch of itty bitty countries, each with their own tax and spend socialist governments interfering in whatever version of Medicare they have over there. Do you know what they did then? They merged! And just like in Afghanistan, they only did the job half way. Now Europe has all those itty bitty governments plus another giant government taxing and spending and interfering on top of that. No wonder Greece and Spain and Canada are broke!

With the heart of the problem exposed like when I had that double bypass last summer (no more KFC Double Downs for me), the solution practically jumps right out at you like the Chihuahua that gave me the damn heart attack in the first place.

Cut taxes! Deregulate! Unleash the G-d given talent for turning a profit of the private sector. True, Europe at present has no private sector, but give it time and it will recover. Heck, I bet we could even lend them a few Americans for a month or two to show them how it’s done.

Do that and Europe will be able to pay off its debt in no time just like I plan to pay off my second mortgage once housing prices go back up. The best part is, the whole thing is free to the taxpayer. And spreading freedom around the world, well, that’s priceless.

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