ATHENS—Despite a decade of volatile marriage, Greece and the euro have decided to stay together for the kids. They hope to keep a stable home macroeconomic environment in place until the kids are old enough to become an international currency on their own without needing monetary policy direction from their parents.
A tell-all published by a disgruntled former civil servant reveals that theirs has been an open marriage from the beginning. The author, Adelphos Milionis, worked cleaning the swimming pool they hid from the government, and also as finance minister. He writes, “The euro is allowed to have a relationship with any other European country provided that it and Greece continue to share a joint central bank.”
In a later chapter, Milionis reveals that Greece was arrested last year for instigating a riot, and that the euro “nearly went broke” bailing it out. He says Greece wanted to declare bankruptcy in order to clear their debts and start over, while the euro was worried that if they did then they would no longer be able to borrow enough to keep their kids in private capital.
It was around that time that the euro threatened to kick Greece out unless it promised to reform. Greece agreed to accept outside counseling, but in the end the condition that it give up its dream of cruising the Mediterranean for six months out of every year and then retiring at 25 proved too austere.
Greece and the euro will continue to appear together in international markets to cover up their fragile domestic situation. Even though Milionis’ tell-all is not exactly flying off the shelves, investors just might buy it.