RIGHT ON SCHEDULE
Wait for the bus, wait for the bus
Check the NextBus app
Two minutes, two minutes
One minute, one
Zero minutes, zero minutes
No bus, none
Repeat

THE METRO DIET
The metro’s really crowded
Not a chance I’m squeezing in
As if I needed one more why
For wishing I were thin

BUS STOP ETIQUETTE
‘Twas early on a Monday morn
The work week primed to start
A cup of coffee in my hand
Hope with cream cheese in my heart
Off I strode to 16 and P
Where the S1 soon should collect me

I stood waving on the corner
As the driver looked me in the eye
I stood waving just one finger
As the bastard smiled and sped on by

WHEN LATE FOR WORK
Step back doors closing
Ding dong ding dong
Step back doors closing
Ding dong ding dong
Step back to allow the doors to close
Clunk
Clunk
Jam
Apologies everybody
Off the train
You can catch the next one
In an hour or twain

TRACK WORK
Trains today are single tracking
Please expect delays
In other words today’s the same
As all the other days

TRANSIT SUBSIDY
Welcome, young intern
To government life
We’re short on staff
So you’ll be doing the job
Of an international economist

The only difference
Between you and she
Is she’s a GS-9
And you work for free
Oh
That reminds me
Here’s a couple bucks for bus fare