SPLIT INFINITIVES
To
Split
An infinitive is
To
Correctly
Violate
An artificial axiom
That needs
To
Once and forever
As an urgent endeavor
I don’t care what you learned
In fifth grade from Ms. Heather
Be abolished

HOWEVER
You may think a “however” belongs
in that place; however, I assure you,
that isn’t the case. In your face!

TRACK CHANGES
Feeling mischievous one morn
I submitted a memo
For my boss’s editorial scorn
He returned it to me
A redlined mess
Well the memo I submitted
Was the Gettysburg Address

ACRONYMS
Even though (“T”) we all
Know (“K”) what (“W”) they
All mean (“AM”)
Every memo (“EM”) defines
Every term (“ET”) as though
We (“WE”) were still green (“G”)
Well it’s scucking obfene (“FO”)
Albeit not nearly as FO
As using all those acronyms
From the get-go

SEMICOLON
The semicolon’s more oft misplaced
Than a federal building architect’s
Sense of taste;
In either case the outcome’s blight;
A structure that’s a sorry sight;
Now causeth what this optic plight?
‘Tis that the government assigns
Its authors to build
And its builders to write

PASSIVE VOICE
The tech writer threatens
Beware of the passive
But the passive is used
On a scale that is massive
By her and by all decent
Writers not in caskets
And by dead writers too
So tech writer, f yoo